I am utterly lost.

I mean completely lost with myself, and my direction

Where am I going?

I honestly have so many dreams, so many aspirations, so many hopes, and it feels like everything is just falling apart around me. I feel like I am standing 7,000 feet above the ground watching everything collapse below. Is it possible that I am being overly dramatic? Sure, I’m seventeen fucking years old and thats what happens, we have emotions we cant explain, and the hardships we face thus far feel life altering.

I got into my dream college in New York City,

And  I cant afford to go.

I’m understanding that its a part of growing up, you don’t always get what you want and that may not be the path set for you. But FUCK does it hurt when the one reason you worked your ass off in high school is so close but still so far away.

Instead I have to settle between Stevenson University and CCBC

nothing against community college or CCBC because a college education is a college education regardless, and nothing against Stevenson because I also love it there. But at the same time I’m gonna be real, I’m black. Stevenson’s campus is diverse but not quite in the way you’d think. There are a lot of people there from different backgrounds whom think the same and that bothers me when considering the field I am studying.

I am a Fashion Merchandising major, and I am damn sure proud.

I love the fashion industry and I plan to be someone who makes a large impact on the way people see clothing, beauty, and appreciate people for their differences through the way they present themselves.

I plan to visit places far more beautiful than I could’ve imagined, and places that need help for my soul and for my branding.

Right now, I am just a girl who has yet to figure out where she’s supposed to go and she’s trying to be okay with that.

In slightly less depressing news, I have watched 13 Reasons Why (why I said slightly less depressing) and I have two words for you…


Seriously, I felt so many emotions during the viewing of this program and I learned so much , not just about what each character was facing but about myself

If you watch the program you’ll realize there is a little bit of you in every character, even the ones you don’t like.

Anyway, I hope someone reads this and it teaches them something honeslty idk

k bye,



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